Its a good thing that none of my boyfriends are dating me back, or I would never be able to commit to this many relationships. Luckily, all the fantastic drama is totally one sided and completely in my head so it hasn't been too difficult. However, I cannot possibly concentrate on this campus with Romeo(as we will call him because, well, if I had to drink poison to be with him, I would) walking around single. What a terrible terrible shameful waste of a fine peace of arse! However, this dismall fog is punctuated by beacons of hope . Obviously, I had a four day affair with that person that put him in the ranks of some of the best things I ever 'did', if you will. The fact that we have already had consensual sex several times makes my chances better with him(and hopefully more timely as I'm dying a little everyday), at least compared to someone who has not consented to their penis in my vagina. Not to mention he can go forever- almost to a fault. And while I have only had inside outside earth shattering leg shaking orgasms with two people in my life, the fact that there was a second means that a third might not be so impossible.
Those two lucky guys would be: my ex boyfriend who I was the greatest thing to ever happen to. I hope he treats women better now and doesn't jerk them around and make them afraid for their physical safety. Hopefully the day he almost broke my jaw with his fist will not keep me from having healthy relationships in the future since I basically left with an icy heart and intimacy issues. It seems that he is a teacher at his highschool now which is totally inappropriate. He is way way way too hot to be teaching highschoolers. The other guy is my soulmate in Ireland with whom I shared a week of lovin that was nothing short of magical. I even held his hand in public and that is most definetly not my scene. We drank whiskey and beer and copulated in the great outdoors and all over the west coast of the Emerald Isle. I really love him on some level except his temper is absolutely stereotypical and when he sends me emails they always arrive without punctuation. Alas, I am my mother's daughter, though, and a job's a job. What's more, is he loves his job, and that is invaluable(since my daddy didn't have one for, well, my formative years). The point is, I hope it is not true that we only have two great loves because well, I am going to get laid in the next two weeks by Romeo. I mean, shit, his dad paid my cover on dad's weekend- I'm practically engaged.
To compare, all three of these men have absolutely drool worthy bodies which makes me feel extra guily about my bloated stomach full of easy mac. Now, the two earthquake inducers both have dicks the size of baseball bats, and I hate to care but size matters. size matters. size matters. At least to me.It is not fair that a man can speculate about the size of a woman's rack before anyone has to get naked, but to find out if I want a relationship, I have to go kinda far.... However, Romeo can go forever and so I think practice is the only way. I remember my first orgasm- for real. I was so lucky to have a boyfriend at the time who could clear his schedule and let me practice until I got it right. I had sex six hours a day for nine months, and now my perception for 'normalcy' is probably totally whack. If I never achieve that again, it will be a letdown, to say the least.
Anyway, I will obviously have to be irresistible and remember not to talk too much cause I always talk too much when I am worried about being charming. I wonder if I can just tell him "hey your single status is the biggest tragedy on this planet, I'll date you anytime."Thats casual, right? The worst part is, I am the most anti-boyfriend person in the Chicagoland area, if not the world. Perhaps, thats just because I'm anti-98% of everything in a 50 mile radius from here or because I hate compromise and explaining myself. However, I do not hate sex everyday. Actually, I want it and deserve it and project "Two weeks till fucking" starts today.
