I'd like a dirty old man and a side of fries

Am I crazy, or do older guys love it when you talk down to them.  I swear, if you can flirt with them while teasing them just enough that they know you know you can do better(in other words, younger), they will just jump through hoops to be your new daddio. I mean, that’s how I got my sugar daddy . Anyway this isn’t about him. But I would like to say that I often have to defend my preference for older men to my friends who are simply bashing something before trying it. Older guys have more experience and are therefore typically better in the sack, more attentive, and more appreciative of a young woman's body.  If its feeling beautiful again that your after, I would recommend getting with a black guy. He'll make you feel like a flawless goddess. Of course potential side effects include never being the same again, becoming much more critical of penis size, and severe emotional trauma resulting in irreparable damage. Best of luck.

Anyway, while pimping all over the world I have managed to secure prospects and lovers in several regions of the globe and the continental u.s. One of these is prospects is Jeremy who used to be my California boyfriend but has since moved to Kalamazoo. I don’t like the title as much but its definetly more unique to have a boyfriend in Kalamazoo. I met him at a sales conference in Orlando a few years ago when I was new to my job and he was a big deal, to put it plainly.  We ended up hooking up and finding ourselves naked just minutes before he was supposed to give the final talk of the whole conference.  Basically, anyone who knew that I’d hooked up with him thought I was hot shit. What a scandal. Young female sales rep seduces 100k earner at conference in Disney World. My momma always did say its just as easy to love a rich man as a poor man(and thats a lot of money to the 20yr old I was at the time)  We’ve hung out once since then, but mostly he calls me when he’s soul searching- as I often am - so its not very disruptive. He just got out of a serious relationship -which is all he ever does- and he described his ex as being a non-mormon vegetarian who drank and smoked and was really into the universe. Personally, I like to think that I’m into the universe, but not enough that someone  would describe me that way. 

He just called to see if I was in Chicago, but alas, I’m away at school. Anyway, I told him I’m not really into casual sex anymore, at least not with people I haven’t already screwed. That way I can skip the whole awkward courting and getting aquainted bullshit and get mine and go.  Plus, the only thing I like more than talking about sex when I'm having it is talking about it when I'm not, especially to other sufferers of abstinence. And for the record, I think teaching abstinence is the most appauling, offensive waste of energy ever.  He asked me what I was up to and I said schoolwork and spitting game. He asked if that meant hooking up with people. What a joke. Hooking up with as many people as I spit game at(and its really just about keeping the machine oiled) would not be possible on a twenty four hour clock. I explained that its just a hobby that allows me to keep my options open.  Its very important to teach an old dog new tricks, especially since he'll surely be able to reciprocate and a relationship takes two, afterall. So he made some not-so-smooth comment like “awesome so we can just hook up when I see you”

Me-  well not exactly, I mean, those guys still have to work for it. Jeez. And you’re in a different category, ya know, cause I hooked up with those guys a bunch of times and you only once”

Him: well whats the difference?

Me: your category is bigger and less competitive

And then I think he was freaked out. How I could joke about getting ass with other guys and have him say he was flattered to be in a category at all and that he'd like to move up one is a total mystery. Why do sexually frustrated exchanges insist on being so cheesy and indirect?  So just so he’d stay positively addicted to me I said “we’ll see what we can do, but I don’t believe in labels” I mean, I don’t even know what that means so he’s probably baffled still.  But that is what the older man wants as far as I can tell: a cryptic, opinionated, younger, freak.